Out and about

Dave, 😫 I was lying bollocky buff on my pit, when Chris Read came in and chucked Old Spice on my nuts, after calling him every name in the book and leaping about like a freshly shagged ferret, I plunged them in the sink and it gradually calmed down. Never put owt like that anywhere near your nuts mate!

It,s all about mekkin ackers outa the gullible Pat, similar to the owd " You Too Can Have A Body Like Mine" shite. Picture of Some geezer who,s got arse cheeks like a fukkin dartboord from the steroid injections and who wil probably kipper at a young age from liver or kidney failure or massive jam tart attack. Bit like Look gud now, die earlier!

The worst thing I did was put baby lotion on my arse after getting ring sting on a tab, oh f'ck the pain! I made the wife promise never to put it near the kids arses when I dragged my arse from the kitchen sink full of cold water!

😲

Tip from the "Trouble" when she vuz a Q A Bob wuz to lallop my ring piece wi Sudacrem and all these years later it,s still brill fer Nobby Stiles. 🤗 

I remember when we were training for the Devizes to Westminster canoe race it was February bloody freezing . Some clever twat said, rub Horse Liniment on your back to keep warm. So after one 17 mile training stretch I can only use Dave's expression, my arse was like the Japanese flag.

Well l learned experience Bob. No fukkin wonder thi called that old liniment "Fiery Jack!" 😮 

Twa Heeds grandad was a big cycle racer back in the day and made the mistake of putting liniment on his chest to help a cold before a race. It ran down over his bollocks and he came across the line with his shorts, and tights that they had to wear in those days, pulled down to let the wind blow on them. Instantly banned from racing for a year for indecency! Billy Surtees was his name and I think he was related to the Surtees of motorbike and car racing fame.🤣 

John Surtees, remember his motorcycle and racing car days Pat.

If you mentioned his name with that of Sterling Moss, this generation wouldn't have a clue who you were on about🙄

Remember that shit hot motorcycle racer from that time Bob called Jeff Duke?

Yes think he did a lot of speedway type stuff Dave, it's strange really you never here much about that these days.

I think it still goes on down in Poole as far as I know. Mr Duke was always a big crowd puller there during appearances when I was a kid.

Motorbike scramblin wuz also big back in the day. Used ta be a geezer back then called Arthur Lambkin who wuz shit hot when scramblin thru the shite.

Sod that scramblin' I couldn't even keep the bike upright when I came to a stop on our gravel driveway the other day and laid it down. Bastard to try and stand up a bike weighing 700 lb when you're already knackered from shifting heavy machinery all day!