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Always want a piss when I hit the cold air!

I want a piss every time I stand up from sitting, reckon there might be a stone rolling around in the bladder and hitting the 'on' switch. Supposed to be getting an ultrasound scan soon so it might show up, but then of course they'll want to go in through the Jap's Eye with a camera to grab it! 😯 

Went fer the drink a gallon o watter test at the hossy 3 months agu. Got called back ta gu next Wed fer update, till then am neckin one Tamsulosin capsule a day ta stop mi dribblin in mi keks so a don,t pen n ink like a dirty owd twat! 😝 

You did the right thing getting it checked out Dave, ageing comes with enough problems without having to intend with that mate.👍

Bonus Bob, A don,t shit mesen YET!! 😊 

Yes know where your coming from Dave, we don't need.  lumpy farts mate.

Reminds me of exercise Overdale in Germany, Tommy D woke up one morning after a drunken stupor in his sleeping bag screaming he was blind! The unfortunate soul had shit himself and it was in his eyes.

Like the owd question, "When thaa farts duz it come out in big brown lumps?" If the answer iz "Yes" then thaz shit theesen! 😝 

🤣 🤣 🤣 I remember as kids we had a kid in our class with bowel problems, he had note from his mother stating he would be allowed to go to the toilet any time he requested to.

One day the inevitable occurred, when a teacher said to him it's playtime in 5 minutes I am sure you can hang on till then.

Ohhh! Dear the unfortunate soul could not!

Then Septumis, who spoke with a lisp shouted out" Mith Mith heath shited himthelf, and heth thinken!"

The unfortunate souls mother was not best pleased and came to the school, and gave the teaching staff a severe bollocking having to wash her son's shitty clothes!

When I first went to infant's school I must've had dodgy guts, and the headmistress Mrs Williams insisted on all the kids having prunes and custard for pudding at lunchtime. I have a memory of going home with my shorts wrapped in newspaper, wearing a pair from lost property for the first few days till my mum went and had a word in her ear, and I was the only kid in school who had just custard every day from then on! I can eat them with no ill effects these days, it's usually an excess of Guinness that causes any accidents now! 🤣 

A gud excuse fer shittin theesen Pat! 🤪 

A neighbour at my last gaff was holding his birthday party in his garden with the Guinness flowing liberally, and I made the mistake of risking a fart and followed through horrendously. After 10 minutes in his Portaloo scooping my kecks out I told him we'd have to leave as I'd shit myself. His eyes bulged as I said not to worry as it never went past my knees. He thought he'd experienced all life could throw at him, coming from a Dublin pikey family, but then he met me! 😋 

🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 After prunes Pat, it's a wonder you didn't have a hole in your pants mate. Follow through with the force of a Charlie G!

Much better OUT than keeping it IN! 😝 

So its nappies for you then Pat

Had to wear them for a weekend a few years back when a nurse made a bollocks of removing stents from my kidneys to my bladder and I was on permanent send for 3 days before going back in to have the bit she'd left in removed, so it would be nothing new for me Ian! At your advanced age I'm sure you've been in them for years! 🤣