WONDER?

Think I'd buy a horse and cart Dave, with the family request to pick this and that up I'd be better off!

Pick up behind the horse and yer roses will be better off anyway!

Remember when the owd wimmin used ta rush outa the gaff wi a lord lovell n folla the ragmans orse ta pick up the orse shit fer their plants, shit steamin al the way inta the gaff!

Mi owd man sed orse shit in thi shoes will mek the grow but fukk that! Thad bi oreight sittin in skoyle stinkin o orse shit, tha wud bi fukkin Billy Nomates! 🤑 

Never found anything unpleasant about horse shit,much better than cow pig or chicken shit. You can smell a pig farmer from a mile downwind! Chicken shit rubbed into the scalp is meant to grow hair back but will gain you no mates,think I'll stick to baldness!

Mi barnet iz the only thing that grows constantly wi out any physical exercise Pat. Wish a cud say the same about mi knob! 🤔 

No point in having a big one if yer not putting it to good use Dave! I seem to get by ok with a little one!😎 

Good to hear Pat, nowt better ta keep thi warm at neet, that,s fer sure! A just av ta settle fer mi Pit Bull "Daisy" almost az big az the "Trouble" wearin a fur coo-at n dunt arf keep thi warm at neet, burrer snorin meks the fukkin gaff tremble!! 🙄 

Was in a blokes house when his dog came in from the garden soaking wet and flopped down in front of the fire the smell was horrendous but then it farted and the air turned green. I said to him what the hell are you feeding him? He said anything that comes to hand but he polished off a whole steak and kidney pie yesterday that the wife left on the table to cool!

One time the "Trouble" and me went out and left Crazy Daisy to look after the gaff, no fukkin chance o burgulas with er on guard! Trouble was she,d left a big fukk off chrimbo cake on the kitchen top, musta weighed 10lbs the stuff she,d purrin it. Got back, no burgulas, just Daisy lickin er lips n no fukkin chrimbo cake

Bet Daisy had some horrendous farts for a while. 🤣 🤣 🤣 

Goes to show as well what a load of bollocks the 'experts' talk when they say raisins and suchlike fruits are poisonous to dogs. All my dogs have quite happily scoffed chocolate and fruit cake etc and never had any ill effects........apart from at the arse end as you say Bob! Jill the springer,famous for her eating and beer drinking exploits at Brecon once ate half a dozen blocks of rat poison and only lay down looking sad for a day or 2!

Probably sad because she couldn't eat the rats instead Pat. 😆 

Mi Staffy pup, "Lizzie" 7 months owd prefers ta eight the fukkin furniture!

Once she gets a nice juicy bone in her gob she'll think bollocks to that chair leg! 🤣 🤣 🤣