Fancy Dress

Fancy Dress Outfitter, Dear old age pensioner with the wooden leg, Thank your for your interest in hiring a costume from us we respectfully suggest you purchase the Tricorn Hat, a frock coat, a parrot for you shoulder and go as Long John Silver, total cost £120.00.

Old Age Pensioner, Dear Outfitter, being an old age pensioner with a wooden leg, I don't have a great deal of income and feel this is far beyond my means. Can you come up with a cheaper alternative solution?

Fancy Dress Outfitter, Dear old age pensioner with the wooden leg, sorry to hear of your financial problems, we respectfully suggest you purchase a tin of Black treacle pour it over your head. Shove your wooden leg up your arse and go as a feken toffee apple. Estimated cost £3.00 !