BIG

The voice of experience Dave? 😋 

Deffo Bob az tha knows, the bank of Mum and Dad is very costly! 😳 

Yes I've helped my bunch out financially in more ways than one, don't regret it because it's helped two of them to get on the housing ladder. And as I say we brought them into the world, so the least we can do is help them out if we can when their struggling. And you never know there may come a time when we need them more than they need us!

The stepson, an anaesthetist, says he'll be there when we need him. "My face will be the last thing you see as I plunge the needle in!" he says

 Thaz not avin a face lift o tha Pat? 🤪 

She keeps on about having one, so I might end up with the 'Bride Of Wildenstein' soon. No the stepson keeps offering euthanasia without the ticket to Switzerland!

Try and talk her out of the facelift Pat, the bollox I,ve seen made of that on many wimmin, natural beauty every time. Wuz gunna av it dun mesen but scaffoldin cost moor than the fukkin surgery! Assisted dying? Fukk that! better ta shag another slapper n let rhe "Trouble" find out! BANG!

Don't think there's anything I can say that'll put her off Dave. The latest is a hankering for a 'Thread Lift' where they stick a huge needle in various places in your face with a thin thread down the middle of it with a little hook on the end which catches in your flesh, after which the needle is withdrawn and pulled up and tied off. It looks barbaric and usually doesn't last that long so has to be repeated. I've told her I'll laugh my bollocks off if it goes wrong and leaves her looking like a stroke victim, but she doesn't listen!

Silly lady

Pat tell her you married her for what she is now mate, not something that looks like it should be lying on a slab in Mac Fisheries. She's a lovely looking attractive lady, and that's how she should stay! The only people who gain from this stuff are cosmetic surgeons making big bucks!

I know that and you know that Bob, but try telling a deluded female that she's gorgeous and needs no 'Help' to hold back the years and you'll be wasting your breath!

Tell your good lady to look at that tash on weekend Sky news who covers sport. She has her mug dun on a regular basis and each time she looks moor n moor like fukkin Pinochio, oreight fer a back scuttle tho! 😏