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So Her Majesty, The Queen visits the military hospital I’m in and when she gets to my ward there’s only three of us there. She goes to the first one, who’s lying on his front and asks what’s wrong
“Piles your highness, terrible pain in the...….”
“THAT’S ENOUGH, SOLDIER” shouts the sergeant major who’s accompanying her.
“Oh dear” she says “And what’s the treatment for that?”
“Wire brush and Dettol Ma’am”says the sergeant major
... “Wire brush and Dettol?” she says.
“Yes Ma’am, good scrub with the wire brush, then on with the Dettol to kill any infection” says the sergeant major.
“Oh dear” she says. Then she asks the soldier if he has any ambition.
“Yes Ma’am. To get rid of this awful condition and serve Queen and country, your Highness”
“Very well” she says then walks up to the next soldier, who’s lying on his back and asks him what the matter is. Before he gets a chance to answer the Sergeant Major blurts out “V.D. Ma’am Sexually transmitted disease Ma’am self inflicted injury, don’t give this man any sympathy.”
Well, she is the queen so she can do what she wants, can’t she, so she ignores the officer and says to the young soldier “That’s terrible, and what’s the treatment for that, then?”
“Wire brush and Dettol Ma’am”says the sergeant major
“Wire brush and Dettol?” she says.
“Yes Ma’am, good scrub with the wire brush, then on with the Dettol to kill any infection” says the sergeant major.
“Oh dear” she says. Then she asks the soldier if he has any ambition.
“Yes Ma’am. To get rid of this awful condition and serve Queen and country, your Highness”
“Very well,” then she gets to me, the last one on the ward. I’m sat up on the edge of the bed and when she asks what’s the matter I can hardly speak “Laryngitis Ma’am”
“Oh, I had that in 1967, it’s horrible isn’t it? You can hardly make yourself heard can you?” then she turns to the sergeant major and says
“Just let me have a chat with this young man without butting in, will you?”
“Yes Ma’am” he says
“Don’t tell me they’re treating it with a wire brush and Dettol, are they?”
“Yes you highness” I say in a creaky voice “Scrub with the brush then on with the Dettol.”
“Oh dear” she says “and tell me young man, do you have any ambition?”
“Yes Ma’am, to get to the wire brush and Dettol before those two dirty Bastards”
“Piles your highness, terrible pain in the...….”
“THAT’S ENOUGH, SOLDIER” shouts the sergeant major who’s accompanying her.
“Oh dear” she says “And what’s the treatment for that?”
“Wire brush and Dettol Ma’am”says the sergeant major
... “Wire brush and Dettol?” she says.
“Yes Ma’am, good scrub with the wire brush, then on with the Dettol to kill any infection” says the sergeant major.
“Oh dear” she says. Then she asks the soldier if he has any ambition.
“Yes Ma’am. To get rid of this awful condition and serve Queen and country, your Highness”
“Very well” she says then walks up to the next soldier, who’s lying on his back and asks him what the matter is. Before he gets a chance to answer the Sergeant Major blurts out “V.D. Ma’am Sexually transmitted disease Ma’am self inflicted injury, don’t give this man any sympathy.”
Well, she is the queen so she can do what she wants, can’t she, so she ignores the officer and says to the young soldier “That’s terrible, and what’s the treatment for that, then?”
“Wire brush and Dettol Ma’am”says the sergeant major
“Wire brush and Dettol?” she says.
“Yes Ma’am, good scrub with the wire brush, then on with the Dettol to kill any infection” says the sergeant major.
“Oh dear” she says. Then she asks the soldier if he has any ambition.
“Yes Ma’am. To get rid of this awful condition and serve Queen and country, your Highness”
“Very well,” then she gets to me, the last one on the ward. I’m sat up on the edge of the bed and when she asks what’s the matter I can hardly speak “Laryngitis Ma’am”
“Oh, I had that in 1967, it’s horrible isn’t it? You can hardly make yourself heard can you?” then she turns to the sergeant major and says
“Just let me have a chat with this young man without butting in, will you?”
“Yes Ma’am” he says
“Don’t tell me they’re treating it with a wire brush and Dettol, are they?”
“Yes you highness” I say in a creaky voice “Scrub with the brush then on with the Dettol.”
“Oh dear” she says “and tell me young man, do you have any ambition?”
“Yes Ma’am, to get to the wire brush and Dettol before those two dirty Bastards”
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