"PSST, It's your stag"....

[jackw102]

Re: "PSST, It's your stag"....

A few come into my garden

[Dave Burgess]

Re: "PSST, It's your stag"....

With two Staffie bitches, don,t get any felines anywhere near!

[bob9739]

Re: "PSST, It's your stag"....

Dead and gutted they make bloody good oven gloves !

[jackw102]

Re: "PSST, It's your stag"....

A few ditties

Son: “Dad, we’re learning about prisms at school. They’re fascinating.”
Dad: “That’s good son, because as a dyslexic black boy, you’re bound to end up in one.”
.................................................. .......................

It was hard getting over my addiction to the Hokey Cokey.
But I’ve turned myself around and that’s what it’s all about
.................................................. ........................

A Muslim bloke I work with was bragging he had the entire Koran on DVD.
Being interested, I asked him to burn me a copy.
Well, that’s when it all kicked off!
.................................................. .......................
Paddy caught his Wife having an affair and decided to kill her and himself.
He puts the gun to his head, looks at his Wife and says
"Don't laugh, your next!!"
.................................................. .......................

An Irishmen wanting to become a Priest went to see the Bishop who said
"You must answer 3 questions on the Bible".
"1st - Who was born in a stable?"
"Red Rum" he replied
"2nd - What do you think of Damascus ?"
"It kills 99% of all germs" he replied.
"3rd - What happened when the disciples went to Mount Olive ?"
"That’s easy" he said "Popeye kicked the shite out of them!!"
.................................................. .......................

Little boy gets home from school and says "Dad, I've got a part in the school play as a man who's been married for 25 years."
His Dad replies "Never mind Son. Maybe next time you'll get a speaking part!!"
.................................................. .......................

Two Irishmen looking through a mail order catalogue.
Paddy says "Look at these gorgeous women! The prices are reasonable too."
Mick agrees "I'm ordering one right now"
3 weeks later Paddy says to Mick "Has your woman turned up yet?"
"No" said Mick "but it shouldn't be long now though.
Her clothes arrived yesterday!!
.................................................. .......................
A dwarf goes to a very good but very busy doctor and asks
" I know you are busy but do you treat dwarves?"
The doctor replies "Yes, but you will have to be a little patient".
.................................................. .......................

In hindsight I should have posted my Facebook status as:
"I've blown the head gasket on my 1997 XR3i" rather than "I've just buggered a 14 year old escort".
The police still haven't seen the funny side of it and my lap top's been confiscated, and the wife has gone off to her mother.
.................................................. .......................

Police have just released details of a new drug craze that is being carried out in Yorkshire nightclubs.
Apparently, Yorkshire club goers have started injecting Ecstasy just above their front teeth.
Police say the dangerous practice is called "e by gum"
.................................................. .......................
A Yorkshire man takes his cat to the vet.
Yorkshireman: "Ayup, lad, I need to talk to thee about me cat."
Vet: "Is it a tom?"
Yorkshireman: "Nay, I've browt it with us."
.................................................. .......................

A Yorkshireman's dog dies and as it was a favourite pet he decides to have a gold statue made by a jeweler to remember the dog by.
Yorkshireman: "Can tha mek us a gold statue of yon dog?"
Jeweler: "Do you want it 18 carat?"
Yorkshireman: "No I want it chewin' a bone yer daft ######!"
.................................................. .......................

The last is always best
Bloke from Barnsley with piles asks chemist "Nah then lad, does tha sell arse cream?"
Chemist replies "Aye, Magnum or Cornetto?"

[Dave Burgess]

Re: "PSST, It's your stag"....

[jackw102]

Re: "PSST, It's your stag"....

The parents of the three schoolgirls who have gone to Syria have made an
impassioned plea for their return. The mother said:

"Girls, my darlings, please come home immediately. We're losing sixty pounds a week in Child Benefit and Uncle Aziz hasn't had a shag for a fortnight.

[taff]

Re: "PSST, It's your stag"....

[trubrit2411]

Re: "PSST, It's your stag"....

Uncle Aziz .....hilarious. Many atrue word spoke in jest

[Dave Burgess]

Re: "PSST, It's your stag"....

Saw a good cartoon, owd Silliband dressed as raghead in dish dash over in Syria pleading with ISIS twats, "If you f.ck off back to Rochdale now lads, you,ll be back in time to vote!"

[jackw102]

Re: "PSST, It's your stag"....

When all else fails...

I have his mobile number if you need it...

[Dave Burgess]

Re: "PSST, It's your stag"....

Blonde 18 year old home help with massive tits works oreight fer me Jack!

[jackw102]

Re: "PSST, It's your stag"....

Evening troops

[Forever Young]

Re: "PSST, It's your stag"....

Nice.....that will do me fine

[Dave Burgess]

Re: "PSST, It's your stag"....

Sadly now just fond memories!

[Don the Mod]

Re: "PSST, It's your stag"....

Sadly now just fond memories!

You lieing fukker Dave, you never had a memory like her in your life mate.