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  • Always read Instructions

    Smells good but painful ! Merry Christmas to one and all !

    IMG_2630.jpg
    Bob (geordie) Watts

  • #2
    Re: Always read Instructions

    Rather that up thi ring piece Bob than the odd bog brush that Val when a nurse ad ta remove from some daft kunts arsehole after gerrin too turned on!

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    • #3
      Re: Always read Instructions

      Did you see the one in the paper the other day about the bloke with a WW11 6 pounder anti tank shell stuck up his arse? The usual excuse of 'I was just sorting out my collection of militaria,when I fell backwards onto this shell' Of course there was no sign of his underkecks pushed in there,so he obviously does his 'sorting' naked! The bomb squad were called just in case,but it was a solid shot with no explosive content,unlike the Yank a few years ago found with a live Bofors 40mm up there,which he apparently used to sort his piles out! There was a pic of the surgeons working on him in flak jackets,reaching over sandbags piled around the operating table!

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      • #4
        Re: Always read Instructions

        Bofors 40 mm arf the size o Big Adas dildo!

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        • #5
          Re: Always read Instructions

          When I was in the fire brigade we got called by The Royal Free hospital in Hampstead to assist in the removal of six key rings off a blokes penis, as all the hospital had to try and remove it was a ring cutter, which was fine on gold, but useless on spring steel. The nurse said we thought you might have a tool that would work, talk about double entendre, it was worse than a Carry On film. The guv'nor used bolt cutters on them. The bloke in question never said a word or opened his eyes during the entire performance. The nurse told us that she once had a bloke with an electric torch stuffed up his arse, which was difficult for him to explain away. even more difficult (and painful ) to remove. It was Hampstead though, and a lot goes on up Hampstead Heath after dark that I'd rather not know about.
          Last edited by findlay; 9 December 2021, 17:34.

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          • #6
            Re: Always read Instructions

            A couple o years agu saw a clip on Youtube o some Barnsley buildin workers on a site in Londonistan n fukkin about, one of em pulled iz knob out, laid it on a piece o 4 X 4 timber, stretched iz foreskin over iz bell end n nail gunned it ta the timber az iz party trick. Really painfull lookin az iz mate pulled the nails out, leavin im wi a perforated knob, then facin the camera eee sed, "This iz worrapens when the Barnsley lads o in town!" Wonder if eee ad the lego,er that neet?

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            • #7
              Re: Always read Instructions

              Baffles me why anyone would want to nail gun his knob, had mine caught in my fly zip once it was agony !
              Bob (geordie) Watts

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              • #8
                Re: Always read Instructions

                The South Yorkshire Barnsley lads are az mad az fukkin atters Bob, i.e. Charlie Williams first black footy player I ever saw, playin fer Doncaster Rovers in the late 50s. "Ay up mi owd cock, o thy oreight!"

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                • #9
                  Re: Always read Instructions

                  He wouldn't be alone on the pitch these days!

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                  • #10
                    Re: Always read Instructions

                    Be a welcome member o the Mandingo footy eleven!

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                    • #11
                      Re: Always read Instructions

                      Charlie, maybe the bloke was trying to prove the sun shone out of his arse?
                      "We're surrounded on all sides... Good... you're obviously in the right place".

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                      • #12
                        Re: Always read Instructions

                        In that case Don, I hope he put new batteries in first. That'd be a good advert for Duracell......

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                        • #13
                          Re: Always read Instructions

                          Yeah, reckon that poor old Bunny must be Knackered by now !
                          Bob (geordie) Watts

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                          • #14
                            Re: Always read Instructions

                            Only cock problem I have today is when in go for a piss l have to shake it for about 10 minutes to get rid of any drips and still piss down mi leg, public bogs are a bastard, anybody coming in think I am having a wank

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                            • #15
                              Re: Always read Instructions

                              Dave, got the book and card mate, many thanks. couldn't post on PM to much gobbledegook !
                              Ron have you had a prostate check mate, just make sure the Doc hasn't got fingers like cucumbers. Not pleasant but it could be life saving !
                              Bob (geordie) Watts

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