Bastard shite...

[Don the Mod]

...hawks wish fukkers would stop feeding them. Car gets splatted every fukkin week. I'd heard a theory that it's red cars they're attracted to, so I joogled it.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2161540/Crimson-cars-hit-droppings-vehicles-colour.html

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[bob9739]

Re: Bastard shite...

It's a falsify Don, mines a bronze colour called Urban, and attracts every flying shit bucket imaginable mate .

[standinthedoor]

Re: Bastard shite...

They shit on me, not sure WTF thats all about!

[peter dearden]

Re: Bastard shite...

When I worked the night shift there hundreds of gulls on the warehouse roof I did not have car so at brew time I would sneak out and throw a big stone on the roof scared the gulls who flew off in fright and shit on every car in the car park I know what a trick to do but I did it anyway

[trubrit2411]

Re: Bastard shite...

A 2 Para arsehole LOL

[Dave Burgess]

Re: Bastard shite...

Stains like fukk as well so T Cut time agee-an!

[Don the Mod]

Re: Bastard shite...

The fukker that dropped that load probably rose 50ft in about 2secs.

[bob9739]

Re: Bastard shite...

Make sure you wear a hat Don.

[jim scott]

Re: Bastard shite...

Don ,when I replied to this post I got the message , "Error this message is too short" ???, My answer tae yer ****n shite post was, that I had two answers to the problem ,called shotguns

[treeman]

Re: Bastard shite...

I was once driving past a field just as a flock of Greylag Geese took off; right over the car, about 20 feet and rising. A couple of hundred birds and I reckon every one of them dropped a load; all over my motor. In an instant, black became khaki brown and white.

[Dave Burgess]

Re: Bastard shite...

Used ta mek me laff when big fukk off gulls were seen flying over Shiny Sheff n tha can,t get any further from the fukkin coast than that, 80 miles east, 80 miles west n full blown expeditition , north or south. Some thick kunt wud look up and say, "Fukkin ell! it must bi ruff weather on the coast!" Nearest them scrounging, scavenging dirty bastards av ever bin ta the coast is the local fukkin tip!

[bob9739]

Re: Bastard shite...

Your right Dave, gulls are scavengers and will go wherever some daft twat is feeding them. And the bastards can get aggressive, one of my bunch was on holiday in Cornwall when one swooped down and grabbed her pasty. Laughable I know but they can get bloody nasty !

[Pat Harley]

Re: Bastard shite...

I made the mistake of chasing a bunch of about 20 swans up the Medway in my RIB,and as they took to the air every one of them unloaded ballast!I rode through a cloud of shit,and came out covered from head to toe,lesson learned!

[trubrit2411]

Re: Bastard shite...

When I was a little kid a Swan half killed me. I was in the drink after an egg from its nest. It hammered me for the longest five minutes of me life. Lashed me with its wings. Pecked me all over and did Riverdance on me back with them big yellow feet. Try swimming with a Swan doing The Highland Fling on yer shoulder blades and jack hammering your head.

[Dave Burgess]

Re: Bastard shite...

Them Swans eggs were the holy grail fer collecters back then Tone, but did thy ever try blowing one? Tha needed lungs like a pair o fukkin bellows.