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GOOD N BAD

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  • GOOD N BAD

    Me mates missis took iz new jam jar fer a spin, n when she came back she sed, "Well I,ve got some good news n bad news".
    "Fer fukks sake!" eee sed, "I don,t want bad news at Chrimbo!"
    "OK Sweetheart", she sed, "The airbags are shit hot!"

  • #2
    Re: GOOD N BAD

    The only thing shit hot here is my arse!Got poisoned by something at a friends house yesterday,probably the warmed up turkey,and have shat every 10 minutes since 10 last night!Shat the bed,shat the corridor,shat the bathroom,the house smells like an open cess pit!And then,from 7 this morning started projectile vomiting!All's well at the mo,after packing some anti shit tablets down my neck,apart from a starfish like the Japanese flag,and sitting here in 6 layers of clothes,with the log burner going full blast,and still shivering!A Maureen would've thrown in the towel and died by now!

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    • #3
      Re: GOOD N BAD

      At least taz gerrin a gud de coke Pat!

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      • #4
        Re: GOOD N BAD

        Yer right there Dave!Can't remember the last time I felt this ill,but I'm sure it's good as a rapid weight loss scheme,I swear I've shit twice me own body weight!

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        • #5
          Re: GOOD N BAD

          Bin there done that. Watch the dehydration. It can come on real quick and its really painful.
          Be ready to get down the ER for a ba or two of fluid right into the arm. Hope you know what you are doing and its not Salmonella which can be dangerous.
          Probably over by now
          "If they control your speech.....they control your life"
          Me


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          • #6
            Re: GOOD N BAD

            Good advice Tone. Drink plenty of H20 Pat until yer shit becomes as clear as a mountain stream. If tha were a blue lagoon thad think tha wo melting!

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            • #7
              Re: GOOD N BAD

              Trouble is you can't keep the water down. That how it kills people.....specially kids. The throwing up and rapid crapping is the body going into the emergency mode and throwing out the invader bacteria as quick as possible. Trouble is it chucks everything else out too. Thats why the fluid had to be intravenous. I have had it twice and both times I had to be rehydrated. Last time I was an ambulance case. Fookin painful when you go into deep dehydration.
              "If they control your speech.....they control your life"
              Me


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              • #8
                Re: GOOD N BAD

                All the badness coming out of you Pat - hope your better soon
                Ian Russell - Still 2 Fighting Fit Downunder

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                • #9
                  Re: GOOD N BAD

                  I've survived!Could only sip water,but managed to get a couple of pints in without it bouncing out again,and the shits eventually stopped when the tank ran empty.Aching all over from the dehydration,and cramps everywhere,from calves to feet,and even the back of my head,kept me awake,but feel ready to eat after 36 hrs with everything coming out,and f.ck all going in!It would've killed 17 Maureens,but being made of sterner stuff I've shaken it off!

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                  • #10
                    Re: GOOD N BAD

                    That,s the way Pat, feightin fit agee-an, "Gerram in Landlord!"

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                    • #11
                      Re: GOOD N BAD

                      Thumbs Up.jpg
                      Ian Russell - Still 2 Fighting Fit Downunder

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                      • #12
                        Re: GOOD N BAD

                        You did well kiddo..... to get through that with out a trip to the Emergency room. When I went I destroyed their shitter.
                        "If they control your speech.....they control your life"
                        Me


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                        • #13
                          Re: GOOD N BAD

                          The good news is the twat that I suspect poisoned me is poorly now too!Ha ha take that you fat bastard!
                          Still feeling weak as a Pioneer Corps Bandsman,and the kidney stones are rattling and bleeding to keep me on my toes,but onwards and upwards as usual!

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                          • #14
                            Re: GOOD N BAD

                            Plenty o Guinness daahn thee ta build thee back up!

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                            • #15
                              Re: GOOD N BAD

                              Pat, Glad to read you are back on your feet and off your arse. Severe dehydration can be very serious, and as has been said on here it can be hard to get the balance back in your body again. Christmas in not a good time to go crook on the NHS. Seem to have come round now. Best wishes for a full recovery Ron (Wig)

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