• Dave Burgess's Avatar
    1 Hour Ago
    Dave Burgess started a thread CHARGE in Jokes
    Just bin in a health food shop ta ask the price o protein powder. Kunt behind the counter sed undred squids. "Fukk off!" a sed, "That,s Whey...
    0 replies | 3 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    9 Hours Ago
    Dave Burgess replied to a thread ARCHIMEDES in Jokes
    Phew! Thaz a lucky fukker Chris!
    6 replies | 60 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    9 Hours Ago
    Dave Burgess started a thread OW? in Jokes
    Ow duz tha tell if some geezer iz from Hong Kong or China? By the colour o their fukkin mask!
    0 replies | 10 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    1 Day Ago
    Dave Burgess replied to a thread ARCHIMEDES in Jokes
    Tha shud thank er Chris cos she did thi a reight fukkin favour!
    6 replies | 60 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    1 Day Ago
    Dave Burgess started a thread ALIVE in Jokes
    Mate sed, "Az thy ever woke up, kissed the one beside you then thanked God that your alive? I did this mornin then realised I wuz on the...
    0 replies | 10 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    2 Days Ago
    Dave Burgess started a thread ASTROLOGY in Jokes
    Avin a check up at the quacks, I asked, "Duz tha think al live a long healthy life?" "Doubt it", eee replied, "Mercury is in your anus", ...
    1 replies | 25 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    2 Days Ago
    Dave Burgess replied to a thread ARCHIMEDES in Jokes
    I never answer the fukker anyway Chris. Might bi sum fukker wantin ackers off thi!
    6 replies | 60 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    2 Days Ago
    Dave Burgess started a thread HERE in Jokes
    "Here, get this drink daahn thi Gregory!" Mi mate speed dating.
    0 replies | 15 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    3 Days Ago
    Dave Burgess started a thread ARCHIMEDES in Jokes
    Archimides principile:- When body iz immersed in water, the fukkin dog n bone will ring!
    6 replies | 60 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    3 Days Ago
    Dave Burgess started a thread VEGAN in Jokes
    Talkin to a tash who used ta be a Vegan. She sed "Fukk that!", I now realise mi miss steak!"
    0 replies | 21 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    3 Days Ago
    Dave Burgess replied to a thread Kipling knew in Poetry
    Deffo payin fer the sins of our forefathers Tone!
    7 replies | 72 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    3 Days Ago
    Dave Burgess started a thread MEDICAL in Jokes
    Tash across the roo-ad teld mi that she kunt gerrin ta the quacks fer a medical. So she fukked off ta the airpoort, mentioned ISIS n gorra full...
    1 replies | 31 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    4 Days Ago
    Dave Burgess started a thread EDUCATION in Jokes
    UK Pre schools are now going to start giving sex education, and for Muslim bin lids marraige guidance.
    0 replies | 19 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    5 Days Ago
    Dave Burgess started a thread FAVOURITE in Jokes
    Geezer from across the street teld mi that when thi wo growin up iz skin n blister wuz allus their parents favourite, but now she,s a brass nail...
    0 replies | 20 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    5 Days Ago
    Dave Burgess started a thread PARKING in Jokes
    Ad a run daahn ta York Museum yesyerdy. Fukkin ell! don,t gu theer! Parkin charges fukkin disgustin! Tha gets charged extra fer swimmin facilities n...
    0 replies | 20 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    6 Days Ago
    Dave Burgess started a thread EMAILS in Jokes
    Geezer took a quiet minute at sham n shirk ta check iz private emails then laffed iz bollox off when eee found one o them scams about a Nigerian kunt...
    0 replies | 22 view(s)
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2 Visitor Messages

  1. View Conversation
    Dave. Can you give me a bell on my mob: 07810820763 and I'll phone you back, think I have your num wrong.
    John
  2. Older than I,d like to be,not as fit as I used to be,married for 44 years to Val,my lover and best friend,without her I,d be either locked up or brown bread.Dad,grandad & great grandad,children really are the greatest thing you can posess,keep ya mind young & daft and keep ya body active.After 65 years on this earth and years studying the university of life which included leaving school with f.ck all in the way of qualifications,being sacked aged 17 from an indentured apprenticeship for banjoing the gaffer,6 years in the Parachute Regiment,digging the roads with the paddys,driving heavy plant,roofing contractor,gym owner and finally a postman.After that f.ckin lot I have gained a great insight into life and all the characters that go to make it up,and my conclusion is that some people are put on this earth to make people happy,whil,st others have a burning desire to make people miserable,so in my experience when you come across these twats,the only answer,"one right on the end of the old violin!"
    And finally the motto I live by is summed up in the song which is sung at the very end of that brilliant piss take film.
    "ALWAYS LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE OF LIFE!
Showing Visitor Messages 1 to 2 of 2
About Dave Burgess

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