• Dave Burgess's Avatar
    3 Minutes Ago
    Dave Burgess replied to a thread FAO truebrit in Pictures
    Last pint o Mild I ad wuz in Manchester in a battlecruiser just opposite the Picadilly Station approach. Lubbly Jubbly!
    8 replies | 107 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    5 Minutes Ago
    Dave Burgess started a thread PANIC in Jokes
    Thi reckon that in Germany the boxee-ads o panic buyin sausage n chayse. Fukkin ell! Its the Wurst Kase scenario!
    0 replies | 2 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    15 Hours Ago
    Dave Burgess replied to a thread "Ordinary Flu" in Pictures
    Tha noze when thaz got Flu n not just a bad cowd, cos tha can,t even gerrouta thi pit, not enuff strength. Worst I ever ad wuz the Asian brand in the...
    6 replies | 104 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    15 Hours Ago
    Dave Burgess replied to a thread FAO truebrit in Pictures
    Thy ant bin able ta gerra pint o mild up norf fer fukkin yonks now.Used ta luv it mesen.
    8 replies | 107 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    15 Hours Ago
    Dave Burgess started a thread PARTY in Jokes
    Am avin a quarantine party this weekend. No fukkers invited!
    0 replies | 20 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    1 Day Ago
    Dave Burgess started a thread BEFOOR in Jokes
    Befoor the virus a used ta cough ta hide mi farts Now I fart ta hide mi coughs!
    0 replies | 59 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    2 Days Ago
    Dave Burgess started a thread BLIND in Jokes
    Geezer sez to iz current bun, "Stop wankin son, it,ll mek thi gu blind." Son replies, "Fukkin ell Dad, am o,er ere!"
    0 replies | 64 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    2 Days Ago
    Dave Burgess started a thread GLASGOW in Jokes
    Fukkin ell! The shortages o gerrin so bad in Supermarkets that thiz bin repoorts that people in Glasgow are actually fukkin buyin fruit n veg!
    0 replies | 52 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    3 Days Ago
    Dave Burgess started a thread 2065 in Jokes
    2065: "Grandad, tell uz moor about the 2020 bog roll famine!"
    0 replies | 65 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    3 Days Ago
    Dave Burgess replied to a thread Police in Jokes
    Ever Ready?
    4 replies | 149 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    3 Days Ago
    Dave Burgess started a thread OUT in Jokes
    Went out fer a bimble taday in the beatytash sunshine fer mi bit o exercise. Fukkin ell! Every other fukker wuz out az well! Listen...
    0 replies | 61 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    3 Days Ago
    Dave Burgess replied to a thread Ding Dong in Jokes
    I open it fer the Avon Lady Chris, young bit o tash wi massive tits!
    1 replies | 72 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    4 Days Ago
    Dave Burgess started a thread HEARD? in Jokes
    Fukkin ell! Az thy erd that noo toon that some kunt az brought out called Corona? It,s quite catchy!
    0 replies | 54 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    4 Days Ago
    Dave Burgess started a thread NOT in Jokes
    Mate sed, "Suited me not bein able ta visit mi dear owd Mum on Mothers Day, a hate fukkin graveyards!"
    0 replies | 82 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    5 Days Ago
    Dave Burgess replied to a thread Fandance20 in Forecast of Events
    Fukkin ell! be a few thousand up ere gaffless after the battlecruisers foorced ta shut, cos tha can gu inta Sunderland az early az 10 am any day n...
    11 replies | 563 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    5 Days Ago
    Be a few in the nick az well Tone fer twattin the present crop o unruly cheeky bastards!
    3 replies | 173 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    5 Days Ago
    Also Tone, out in the woods early morn wi the doggies at the side o Broomhead Dam on the outskirts o Shiny Sheff, big fukk off black panther type...
    19 replies | 394 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    5 Days Ago
    Dave Burgess started a thread SOME in Jokes
    NEWS!: In spite of the ban some bars in Glasgow stayed open! OTHER NEWS!: "The Pope is Catholic, mice like cheese and bears have been known to...
    1 replies | 78 view(s)
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2 Visitor Messages

  1. View Conversation
    Dave. Can you give me a bell on my mob: 07810820763 and I'll phone you back, think I have your num wrong.
    John
  2. Older than I,d like to be,not as fit as I used to be,married for 44 years to Val,my lover and best friend,without her I,d be either locked up or brown bread.Dad,grandad & great grandad,children really are the greatest thing you can posess,keep ya mind young & daft and keep ya body active.After 65 years on this earth and years studying the university of life which included leaving school with f.ck all in the way of qualifications,being sacked aged 17 from an indentured apprenticeship for banjoing the gaffer,6 years in the Parachute Regiment,digging the roads with the paddys,driving heavy plant,roofing contractor,gym owner and finally a postman.After that f.ckin lot I have gained a great insight into life and all the characters that go to make it up,and my conclusion is that some people are put on this earth to make people happy,whil,st others have a burning desire to make people miserable,so in my experience when you come across these twats,the only answer,"one right on the end of the old violin!"
    And finally the motto I live by is summed up in the song which is sung at the very end of that brilliant piss take film.
    "ALWAYS LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE OF LIFE!
Showing Visitor Messages 1 to 2 of 2
About Dave Burgess

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