• Dave Burgess's Avatar
    11 Hours Ago
    Dave Burgess replied to a thread 100 years old in Pictures
    Especially when tha tells the plod desk sergeant tharree smells like a fukkin queers handbag Tone.
    68 replies | 2200 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    14 Hours Ago
    Dave Burgess replied to a thread 100 years old in Pictures
    Too much change Tone, fer the fukkin worse!
    68 replies | 2200 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    14 Hours Ago
    Dave Burgess started a thread "T" SHIRT" in Jokes
    Bored az fukk during the lockdown I decided ta owd a wet "T" shirt comp. Sitting theer wetchin em all drippin on the weshin line I decided, "Fukk...
    0 replies | 10 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    1 Day Ago
    Dave Burgess replied to a thread 100 years old in Pictures
    Good news Bob!
    68 replies | 2200 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    1 Day Ago
    Dave Burgess started a thread ISOLATION in Jokes
    Mate sed, "Durin mi self isolation this enterprisin bin lid knocked on mi door an asked, "Duz tha want mi ta clear the dog shit outa thi garden fer...
    0 replies | 32 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    1 Day Ago
    Dave Burgess replied to a thread JOB in Jokes
    Like the other two kunts who o supposed ta av it, eeez never ad the fukker, silly kunts think that by lying that it,s some kinda morale booster fer...
    3 replies | 78 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    1 Day Ago
    Dave Burgess started a thread JOB in Jokes
    Corona iz latin fer crown, which means owd Charlie boy az bin the nearest eeez ever gunna get ta the top job!
    3 replies | 78 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    2 Days Ago
    Dave Burgess started a thread BURGLARS in Jokes
    Geezer rings 999, "Thiz two geezers burglin mi gaff!" 999, "Sorry sir, we have no resources to help you at the present time." Geezer, "Not only...
    0 replies | 30 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    2 Days Ago
    Dave Burgess replied to a thread 100 years old in Pictures
    Hope she,s going to be OK Bob, prayers and Best Wishes.
    68 replies | 2200 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    2 Days Ago
    Dave Burgess started a thread BISHOP in Jokes
    Bishop az a massive jam tart attack n iz rushed ta hospital. Az eez bein wheeled in on a trolly eee opens iz mince pies n asks, "Have I died and...
    0 replies | 44 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    3 Days Ago
    Dave Burgess started a thread MOOD in Jokes
    Bought the "Trouble" a mood ring fer er mood swings. When she,s in a gud mood it turns green, but when she,s in a bad mood it leaves a big fukk off...
    0 replies | 55 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    3 Days Ago
    Dave Burgess started a thread BABESTATION in Jokes
    Theer a wuz wetchin Babestation whe the "Trouble" walked in so quick az a flash a switched o,er to Animal Planet. Dropped a reight bollock, two...
    0 replies | 53 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    4 Days Ago
    Dave Burgess started a thread WALL in Jokes
    Trumps border wall held firm today after millions of illegal immigrants clambered to breach it. They thought, "Fukk this, weer seekin a...
    0 replies | 66 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    4 Days Ago
    Dave Burgess replied to a thread Princes in Jokes
    Fukkin ell Pat! az owd az that!
    2 replies | 75 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    4 Days Ago
    Dave Burgess replied to a thread FAO truebrit in Pictures
    Deffo a Brill drink Bob n quick shortcut ta gerrin pissed!
    18 replies | 434 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    4 Days Ago
    Dave Burgess replied to a thread FAO truebrit in Pictures
    Drop o cider in Bill n it,s flaming arseoyles time!
    18 replies | 434 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    4 Days Ago
    Dave Burgess replied to a thread RESULTS in Jokes
    Probably thinks "Fukk em!" The kunts twatted mi Mum" Tone.
    2 replies | 81 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    4 Days Ago
    Dave Burgess started a thread SUPPOORT in Jokes
    Mate sed, "Az mi missis lay in a Coma the Doc approached the life suppoort machine so I pleaded, "Please no, just a little while longer!" Waste o...
    0 replies | 40 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    5 Days Ago
    Dave Burgess replied to a thread JOLENE in Jokes
    Not just 80 year owds Pat, simply just noo-azy twats.
    11 replies | 205 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    5 Days Ago
    Dave Burgess started a thread RESULTS in Jokes
    Prince Charles has just had his latest test results back. He,s still not Harrys Dad!
    2 replies | 81 view(s)
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2 Visitor Messages

  1. View Conversation
    Dave. Can you give me a bell on my mob: 07810820763 and I'll phone you back, think I have your num wrong.
    John
  2. Older than I,d like to be,not as fit as I used to be,married for 44 years to Val,my lover and best friend,without her I,d be either locked up or brown bread.Dad,grandad & great grandad,children really are the greatest thing you can posess,keep ya mind young & daft and keep ya body active.After 65 years on this earth and years studying the university of life which included leaving school with f.ck all in the way of qualifications,being sacked aged 17 from an indentured apprenticeship for banjoing the gaffer,6 years in the Parachute Regiment,digging the roads with the paddys,driving heavy plant,roofing contractor,gym owner and finally a postman.After that f.ckin lot I have gained a great insight into life and all the characters that go to make it up,and my conclusion is that some people are put on this earth to make people happy,whil,st others have a burning desire to make people miserable,so in my experience when you come across these twats,the only answer,"one right on the end of the old violin!"
    And finally the motto I live by is summed up in the song which is sung at the very end of that brilliant piss take film.
    "ALWAYS LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE OF LIFE!
Showing Visitor Messages 1 to 2 of 2
About Dave Burgess

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