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BLIND
A loaned a blind geezer at the gym 50 ackers 30 years agu, eee sed eed give it mi back next time eee seez mi.am still fukkin waitin!...
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Did thy av it wi a bitta coke added John? Remember the gud owd days when ayfe a pint o rum n a bottle o coke cost thi 10 pescettos?
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Education Block John? A teld the M O a wuz allergic to education!
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Think am still on the owd one John. Must be cos am an owd fashioned twat! Av thi found Lord Lucan n Shergar yet?
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TWELVE
Only twelve geezers av walked on the moon. A just wish that kunt Sting ad fukkin stayed theer!
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Same wi bein a short arse Bob.Luvved them brothel creepers n when Elephant John med them big fuukk off platforms popualar a wuz like a pig in shit!
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Same mesen Bob, a wuz dyslexic at skoyle when it came to maths.Learned later when a ad ta mek sure mi wages wo reight and find mi way thru map readin.
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DOCTORS
Doctors av med a breakthru in treating Dyslexia, It,s called Daily Sex!
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DIAMOND
I bought the "Trouble" some diamond ear rings fer er birthday n she aint spoke ta mi since.Mind thee, that wuz part o the fukkin deal!
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10K
Mate o mine teld mi eee wuz gunna gerra barnet transplant on the bald patch at the back of iz crust that,ll cost im 10k. "Wot the fukk for?" I asked. Eee replied, "Ta mek mi moor attractive ta wimmin". A sed,"Thaa daft kunt!"...
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Fukkin ell Rab! Owd Johns gorrinuff ta purrip wi, weout addin fukkin brain damage! Tried ta gerron mesen but run outa fukkin Paracetanol!
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HORATIO
Thi reckon that Horatio Nelson was 5 foot tall burriz statue iz 15 ft. Fukkin ell! that,s Horatio of three ta one!
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STOP
Wuz sar opposite a cute young tash on the tram taday n she ad big tits n a see thru blouse on. Thought ta mesen, "Hope she gets off soon, av missed 8 fukkin stops already!"
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BOXING
Mate o mine iz tryin ta mek iz gay current bun moor masculine by fukkin off iz piana lessons n mekkin im tek up boxing. Eee sed "Apart from meal times a mek im wear iz fukkin boxin gloves!"
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SILENCE
Minutes silence in Liverpool yesterday to mark the 35th anniversary of the tragedy at pig land. Only lasted 7 minutes befoor a fukkin car alarm went off!
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Hi John, just keep fighting and keep your chin up. Val sends her very Best Wishes to you all and wishes you the Best, it,s a pain in the srse this getting old business, I,ve now got cataracts, too much sun over the years I reckon so now paying the price...
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EMBARASSED
A sed to a mate o mine, "Waint tha bi embarassed thi missis avin ta ride on a mobility scooter?"
"Will a fukk!" eee replied, "Am just gunna stick a pole on the back n say that sheez nicked a fukkin dodgem car!"
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