• Dave Burgess's Avatar
    6 Hours Ago
    Dave Burgess started a thread EMAILS in Jokes
    Geezer took a quiet minute at sham n shirk ta check iz private emails then laffed iz bollox off when eee found one o them scams about a Nigerian kunt...
    0 replies | 8 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    1 Day Ago
    Dave Burgess started a thread OWD GEEZER in Jokes
    Talkin about scoff wi the lads in the battlecruiser n laffed mi bollox off when an owd geezer sed, "Cucumbers o fukkin gud fer thi memory cos 60...
    0 replies | 9 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    1 Day Ago
    Dave Burgess started a thread MEMORABILIA in Jokes
    Mate sed, "Am gunna purrall mi John Lenon memorabilia on ebay. Fukkin ell" Imagine all the Paypal!"
    1 replies | 16 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    2 Days Ago
    Dave Burgess started a thread YODELLING in Jokes
    Fukkin ell! Just passed a sign outside a big fukk off gaff that read, "If You Are Here For The Yodelling Session, Please Form An Orderly,Orderly...
    1 replies | 24 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    2 Days Ago
    Dave Burgess started a thread RING in Jokes
    Mate sed, "Av just bought a Penis Ring, worst fukkin iPhone download ever!"
    0 replies | 12 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    3 Days Ago
    Dave Burgess started a thread TWO in Jokes
    Mate sed, "Az thy erd that about Weatherspoons limitin parents who av bin lids wi em ta just two drinks. Fukkin ell! If ad a just stuck ta...
    0 replies | 11 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    3 Days Ago
    Dave Burgess replied to a thread IF in Jokes
    Ope some clever kunt dint shout, "Quit the fancy Parkin!" Pat.
    3 replies | 33 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    3 Days Ago
    Dave Burgess started a thread IF in Jokes
    If you don,t slow down when you see a plod car, you are probably fukkin parked!
    3 replies | 33 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    4 Days Ago
    Dave Burgess started a thread RUN in Jokes
    Mate sed, "One gud thing about this Coronavirus iz the tash don,t fukk off at the double when I approach wearin a mask!"
    0 replies | 16 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    4 Days Ago
    Dave Burgess started a thread VIRUS in Jokes
    Geezer who lives near me az just bought an Auda, a Subaru n two BMWs A think the kunts caught Car Owner Virus!
    0 replies | 17 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    5 Days Ago
    Dave Burgess started a thread DRIVE in Jokes
    Mesen, a don,t think tha loyses thi sex drive after 5 years o bein Sam n Harry,d. Tha just guz from automatic ta manual.
    0 replies | 14 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    5 Days Ago
    Shades of the great Rudyard Kiplings poem "Tommy" Jim.
    21 replies | 156 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    5 Days Ago
    Dave Burgess started a thread OWD CHUCK in Jokes
    Owd Chuck Norris attended one o them gay pride parades n when eee came back iz fukkin shirt wuz ironed!
    0 replies | 20 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    6 Days Ago
    Dave Burgess started a thread DISGRACEFUL in Jokes
    Absoloutely disgraceful the lack of black actors being nominated fer an Oscar. Surely thi all can,t be in fukkin court!
    0 replies | 21 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    6 Days Ago
    Dave Burgess started a thread PARTY in Jokes
    Went ta a bullimics birthday party n fukk me the cake jumped outa the stripper!
    0 replies | 19 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    1 Week Ago
    Dave Burgess started a thread IDES in Jokes
    Bought some Ceasar Salad Dressin from Aldi taday n fukkin ell, wenna gorroo-am, sell by date wuz, "Best befoor Ides o March 44BC!
    0 replies | 17 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    1 Week Ago
    Very true Jim, let the plebs do the feightin n the toffs grab the stolen riches, nowt ever changes! Which thick kunt coined the phrase, "A country...
    21 replies | 156 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    1 Week Ago
    Handy piece o kit that fukker, just imagine thi drivin up ta the bar on that Pat, no probs gerrin served. Mind you, when workin fer the Murphy men n...
    8 replies | 74 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    1 Week Ago
    Dave Burgess started a thread SHELTER in Jokes
    Mate sed, "The missis knows the number o the battered womens shelter like the back o mi fukkin hand!"
    0 replies | 21 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    1 Week Ago
    Kunts don,t like uz cos when we were "GREAT!" we ad the biggest Empire the World az ever seen, in fact tha kunt see the sun set on it. These days,...
    21 replies | 156 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    1 Week Ago
    Dave Burgess started a thread EMBARRASED in Jokes
    Bit embarrassed when the tash GP teld mi ta stop wankin. When I asked "Why?" She replied, "Cos I,m trying to take your blood pressure kunt!"
    0 replies | 20 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    1 Week Ago
    Dave Burgess started a thread SURPRISED? in Jokes
    Aint surprised about all this bollox about "nice boy" Philip Schofield. Whenever a used ta turn the gogglebox on fer the kids, the shit stabber ad...
    0 replies | 18 view(s)
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2 Visitor Messages

  1. View Conversation
    Dave. Can you give me a bell on my mob: 07810820763 and I'll phone you back, think I have your num wrong.
    John
  2. Older than I,d like to be,not as fit as I used to be,married for 44 years to Val,my lover and best friend,without her I,d be either locked up or brown bread.Dad,grandad & great grandad,children really are the greatest thing you can posess,keep ya mind young & daft and keep ya body active.After 65 years on this earth and years studying the university of life which included leaving school with f.ck all in the way of qualifications,being sacked aged 17 from an indentured apprenticeship for banjoing the gaffer,6 years in the Parachute Regiment,digging the roads with the paddys,driving heavy plant,roofing contractor,gym owner and finally a postman.After that f.ckin lot I have gained a great insight into life and all the characters that go to make it up,and my conclusion is that some people are put on this earth to make people happy,whil,st others have a burning desire to make people miserable,so in my experience when you come across these twats,the only answer,"one right on the end of the old violin!"
    And finally the motto I live by is summed up in the song which is sung at the very end of that brilliant piss take film.
    "ALWAYS LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE OF LIFE!
Showing Visitor Messages 1 to 2 of 2
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