• Dave Burgess's Avatar
    13 Hours Ago
    Dave Burgess started a thread CHAT UP in Jokes
    "Get thi knickers off or I,ll sneeze on thi", might not be the most romantic chat up line, but fukkin ell, it dunt arf work in China!
    0 replies | 7 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    20 Hours Ago
    Dave Burgess replied to a thread The Weatherman in Jokes
    LOL!
    2 replies | 23 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    20 Hours Ago
    Dave Burgess started a thread PORNOGRAPHY in Jokes
    My interests include pornography and opera which might explain the ads I keep gerrin: "Women looking for sex in your Aria,"
    0 replies | 10 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    1 Day Ago
    Dave Burgess replied to a thread HAPPY in Jokes
    Seems to me Bob that she,s bein pushed to the forefront of the campaign as spokesperson by the Snowflake mob when she should be enjoying a young...
    3 replies | 17 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    1 Day Ago
    Dave Burgess started a thread HAPPY in Jokes
    "Climate activism has made her very happy", sez Greta Thunbergs owd man. Fukkin ell! A wunt like ta see the miserable lookin little twat...
    3 replies | 17 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    2 Days Ago
    Dave Burgess started a thread ILLITERATE in Jokes
    Some cheeky kunt called mi illiterate taday. Thick twat! Mi mum n Dad ad bin married 3 years when they ad me!
    0 replies | 14 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    2 Days Ago
    Dave Burgess started a thread VEGANS in Jokes
    Them fukkin Vegans wanna lay off others about their scoffin habits. Last thing we need iz another fukkin Spinach Inquisition!
    1 replies | 16 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    3 Days Ago
    Dave Burgess started a thread STIFF in Jokes
    Under new fertility rules sperm iz gunna bi allowed ta bi tekkan from corpses. Well we all expected our Dads ta be a bit siff when we were...
    0 replies | 12 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    3 Days Ago
    Dave Burgess started a thread BUS in Jokes
    Gorron the bus yesterday, looked at the geezer next ta mi n thought, "Worra miserable lookin twat, face like a fukkin slapped arse". Then I...
    0 replies | 15 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    4 Days Ago
    Dave Burgess started a thread HACKING in Jokes
    When tha thinks about it hacking iz just like turd burglars. Get in n outa the back door az fast az they can n just hope thi don,t run inta any...
    0 replies | 15 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    4 Days Ago
    Dave Burgess started a thread HEART in Jokes
    Me Psychologist sed I shud allus listen ta mi jam tart. Now a feel a reight kunt walkin around wi this stethoscope around mi gregory peck!
    1 replies | 16 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    5 Days Ago
    Dave Burgess started a thread FAITH in Jokes
    Nowt tells thi that the Pope az total faith in God than the bullet proof glass on iz fukkin jam jar!
    0 replies | 17 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    5 Days Ago
    Dave Burgess replied to a thread One for Treeman..... in Pictures
    Did tha say, "Did tha like that?" Steve
    13 replies | 95 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    5 Days Ago
    Dave Burgess started a thread GATHERING in Jokes
    For all of uz werryin about all this new technology spyin on uz, just remember the owd J Edgar Oover az bin gatherin shite fer fukkin years!
    0 replies | 12 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    6 Days Ago
    Dave Burgess replied to a thread One for Treeman..... in Pictures
    Iz the tree included wi the jam jar?
    13 replies | 95 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    6 Days Ago
    Dave Burgess started a thread THAI TASH in Jokes
    A mate o mine who,s just come back from iz jollies in Thailand sed, "Pulled a reight Thai tash o,er theer but were,nt quite sure if she wuz a geezer,...
    0 replies | 14 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    6 Days Ago
    Dave Burgess replied to a thread One for Treeman..... in Pictures
    Wonder if it wuz the Mother In Laws gaff? One way o freetenin er ta fukkin dee-ath!
    13 replies | 95 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    6 Days Ago
    Dave Burgess replied to a thread SMILE in Jokes
    A fukkin missed out big time theer Taff!
    3 replies | 25 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    6 Days Ago
    Dave Burgess started a thread WANKING in Jokes
    Mate sed, "The other day a wuz wankin furiously wi mi mince pies shut n when a came 30 minutes later I wuz shocked n pleasantly surprised ta see a...
    1 replies | 17 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    1 Week Ago
    Dave Burgess started a thread SMILE in Jokes
    When a wuz younger tash wud tell mi tharra ad an infectious smile. The MO sed it wuz Herpes n gave mi some fukkin cream!
    3 replies | 25 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    1 Week Ago
    Dave Burgess started a thread ABORTION in Jokes
    Mate sed, "Felt a reight kunt yesterday when a locked mi keys inside mi jam jar while parked outside the local abortin clinic. Ad ta...
    0 replies | 18 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    1 Week Ago
    Dave Burgess started a thread MARRIED in Jokes
    When a gorrin from the neet club in the early hours, the "Trouble" asked, "Have you had sex with any women?" "Only a married one." I replied Don,t...
    0 replies | 15 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    1 Week Ago
    Dave Burgess started a thread TWO MONTHS in Jokes
    "Fukkin ell!" mate sed, "The missis iz still in hospital after two months. That fukkin Liposuction dunt arf tek a long time!"
    0 replies | 14 view(s)
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2 Visitor Messages

  1. View Conversation
    Dave. Can you give me a bell on my mob: 07810820763 and I'll phone you back, think I have your num wrong.
    John
  2. Older than I,d like to be,not as fit as I used to be,married for 44 years to Val,my lover and best friend,without her I,d be either locked up or brown bread.Dad,grandad & great grandad,children really are the greatest thing you can posess,keep ya mind young & daft and keep ya body active.After 65 years on this earth and years studying the university of life which included leaving school with f.ck all in the way of qualifications,being sacked aged 17 from an indentured apprenticeship for banjoing the gaffer,6 years in the Parachute Regiment,digging the roads with the paddys,driving heavy plant,roofing contractor,gym owner and finally a postman.After that f.ckin lot I have gained a great insight into life and all the characters that go to make it up,and my conclusion is that some people are put on this earth to make people happy,whil,st others have a burning desire to make people miserable,so in my experience when you come across these twats,the only answer,"one right on the end of the old violin!"
    And finally the motto I live by is summed up in the song which is sung at the very end of that brilliant piss take film.
    "ALWAYS LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE OF LIFE!
Showing Visitor Messages 1 to 2 of 2
About Dave Burgess

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