• Dave Burgess's Avatar
    2 Hours Ago
    Dave Burgess replied to a thread Total... in Pictures
    Bit like the lad who went outside the tent fer a gypsys kiss, shook iz knob n iz bell end hit the metal bin n instantly stuck fast. Poor fukker plus...
    19 replies | 168 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    2 Hours Ago
    Dave Burgess started a thread CAREER in Jokes
    Mate sed, "It were,nt the drugs that ruined mi career, it wuz the fukkin drug test!"
    0 replies | 4 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    12 Hours Ago
    Dave Burgess replied to a thread Total... in Pictures
    "Trouble" iz VERY emotional!
    19 replies | 168 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    12 Hours Ago
    Dave Burgess started a thread TEMPERATURE in Jokes
    Mate sed, "Fer fukks sake, don,t lerram tek thi temperature when tha guz inta the Supermarket. It fukks thi brain up cos a went in fer some bread n...
    0 replies | 15 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    1 Day Ago
    Dave Burgess replied to a thread Ride of respect in Pictures
    Brill turnout theer Bob!
    4 replies | 39 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    1 Day Ago
    Dave Burgess started a thread WOMAN in Jokes
    Worrif God iz a woman? Norronly will a bi guin ta hell, a won,t av a fukkin clue Why?
    0 replies | 33 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    1 Day Ago
    Dave Burgess replied to a thread Total... in Pictures
    Methane that explodes from thi ring piece Ron az tha noze bein an ex underground savage iz very explosive. Thi worra prog on the gogglebox a while...
    19 replies | 168 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    2 Days Ago
    Dave Burgess replied to a thread Total... in Pictures
    Don,t think ad fancy that flavour Don!
    19 replies | 168 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    2 Days Ago
    Dave Burgess started a thread GOOD in Jokes
    A gud wife allus forgives er hubby when she,s fukkin wrong!
    0 replies | 48 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    2 Days Ago
    Dave Burgess replied to a thread Is this real ? in Pictures
    That,s weer all the social housing az gone Bob. 90% o the kunts who buy em at auction o fukkin soo-ap dodgers.
    19 replies | 284 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    2 Days Ago
    After witnessin child birth Bob, mi first thought wuz, "Am wastin mi fukkin time ere!"
    23 replies | 265 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    2 Days Ago
    One things fer fukkin sure Pat, thall never wear a growler out!
    23 replies | 265 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    2 Days Ago
    Dave Burgess started a thread PULLED in Jokes
    Plod pulled mi o,er last neet n when a gorrout eee sed, "Do you realise that your car iz swerving all over the fukkin road from left to right!" I...
    0 replies | 44 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    3 Days Ago
    Dave Burgess replied to a thread who remembers... in Pictures
    Paddys a worked wi Tone used ta fry their bacon on a mucky shovel eld o,er a gas oil, (Red Diesel) jeremiah. Thi used ta luv their black soot...
    10 replies | 75 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    3 Days Ago
    Dave Burgess started a thread HOMELESS in Jokes
    Wuz in fanny brown taday n passed a homeless tash n felt sorry fer er. Than a remembered the advice ad seen on the gogglebox about givin em summat...
    0 replies | 45 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    3 Days Ago
    Owd Ursula Undress back in 62, in mi prime o mi wankin days!
    23 replies | 265 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    3 Days Ago
    Dave Burgess replied to a thread who remembers... in Pictures
    Every week Don, usually skint agee-an by Monday, burrif thad gorra 10 bob noo-at left tha felt like John Paul Getty!
    10 replies | 75 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    3 Days Ago
    Nowt a roll o gaffer tape wunt cure Pant. "Now cum ere luv, drop thi keks n bend o,er this kitchen table, al fukkin show thi Britains got fukkin...
    23 replies | 265 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    3 Days Ago
    Dave Burgess started a thread IRISH TASH in Jokes
    Young Irish tash returns oo-am after fukkin off 5 years agu. "Wer da fook az yooz been arl deez years?" asks Dad, "Yaz mudder az bin sick wid worry,...
    0 replies | 54 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    4 Days Ago
    Altho deffo a reight slapper Rab, she cud gi mi a wank wi er growler any day! Wonder if she teks it up the shitter? DEFFO!!
    23 replies | 265 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    4 Days Ago
    Dave Burgess started a thread SHUT in Jokes
    Thi reckon that battlecruisers will av ta shut fer skoyls ta re-open. Fukkin ell! Dint know thi wo that much under age drinkin!
    0 replies | 50 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    4 Days Ago
    Dave Burgess replied to a thread Out and about in Pictures
    Az tha sez Ron, very sad, terrible end to young lives. Another crash site a lot nearer ta weer a used ta live wuz up on Broomhead Moor, a Wellington...
    624 replies | 100036 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    4 Days Ago
    Dave Burgess started a thread TEST in Jokes
    Thiz a new test ta see if thaz got Covid 19: Pour theesen a glass o thi favourite spirit, if tha can smell it n taste it thaz ayfweer theer. Tested...
    0 replies | 41 view(s)
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2 Visitor Messages

  1. View Conversation
    Dave. Can you give me a bell on my mob: 07810820763 and I'll phone you back, think I have your num wrong.
    John
  2. Older than I,d like to be,not as fit as I used to be,married for 44 years to Val,my lover and best friend,without her I,d be either locked up or brown bread.Dad,grandad & great grandad,children really are the greatest thing you can posess,keep ya mind young & daft and keep ya body active.After 65 years on this earth and years studying the university of life which included leaving school with f.ck all in the way of qualifications,being sacked aged 17 from an indentured apprenticeship for banjoing the gaffer,6 years in the Parachute Regiment,digging the roads with the paddys,driving heavy plant,roofing contractor,gym owner and finally a postman.After that f.ckin lot I have gained a great insight into life and all the characters that go to make it up,and my conclusion is that some people are put on this earth to make people happy,whil,st others have a burning desire to make people miserable,so in my experience when you come across these twats,the only answer,"one right on the end of the old violin!"
    And finally the motto I live by is summed up in the song which is sung at the very end of that brilliant piss take film.
    "ALWAYS LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE OF LIFE!
Showing Visitor Messages 1 to 2 of 2
About Dave Burgess

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