• Dave Burgess's Avatar
    1 Hour Ago
    Dave Burgess replied to a thread JOLENE in Jokes
    Get ready ta fart when she comes around Pat, that shud fukk er off if she survives the ordeal!
    4 replies | 16 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    1 Hour Ago
    Dave Burgess replied to a thread 100 years old in Pictures
    Remember the owd fish food geezer wi iz basket o gear comin around the battlcruisers Sat neets Pat. I allus used ta buy muscles!
    40 replies | 1425 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    1 Hour Ago
    Dave Burgess replied to a thread 100 years old in Pictures
    That,s how the "Trouble" meks it Bob, n tha can buy it ready med in Supermarkets up ere. Great fart mixture!
    40 replies | 1425 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    1 Hour Ago
    Dave Burgess replied to a thread FAO truebrit in Pictures
    Looks gud gear, mek a nice combination wi draught Guinness.
    13 replies | 190 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    1 Hour Ago
    Dave Burgess replied to a thread JOLENE in Jokes
    Out in the cuds everyday Tone, lonely as a cloud, also coastal walk very quiet, just the dogs knob!
    4 replies | 16 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    4 Hours Ago
    Dave Burgess started a thread JOLENE in Jokes
    "Trouble" talkin to er mate on the dog n boo-an last neet teld er, "Getting a bit fed up with this self isolation now. That pissed off that Jolene...
    4 replies | 16 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    20 Hours Ago
    Dave Burgess replied to a thread 100 years old in Pictures
    "Trouble" bein a Norf East gal introduced mi ta peas puddin Bob. Spread thickly on a Stottie cake, fukkin luverly!
    40 replies | 1425 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    20 Hours Ago
    Dave Burgess started a thread TATTOO in Jokes
    When people see my fantastically detailed tattoo thi don,t believe I ad it done in Madrid. Thick fukkers! Av thi never erd of the Spanish...
    0 replies | 22 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    1 Day Ago
    Dave Burgess replied to a thread FAO truebrit in Pictures
    Last pint o Mild I ad wuz in Manchester in a battlecruiser just opposite the Picadilly Station approach. Lubbly Jubbly!
    13 replies | 190 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    1 Day Ago
    Dave Burgess started a thread PANIC in Jokes
    Thi reckon that in Germany the boxee-ads o panic buyin sausage n chayse. Fukkin ell! Its the Wurst Kase scenario!
    2 replies | 41 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    1 Day Ago
    Dave Burgess replied to a thread "Ordinary Flu" in Pictures
    Tha noze when thaz got Flu n not just a bad cowd, cos tha can,t even gerrouta thi pit, not enuff strength. Worst I ever ad wuz the Asian brand in the...
    6 replies | 124 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    1 Day Ago
    Dave Burgess replied to a thread FAO truebrit in Pictures
    Thy ant bin able ta gerra pint o mild up norf fer fukkin yonks now.Used ta luv it mesen.
    13 replies | 190 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    1 Day Ago
    Dave Burgess started a thread PARTY in Jokes
    Am avin a quarantine party this weekend. No fukkers invited!
    0 replies | 45 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    2 Days Ago
    Dave Burgess started a thread BEFOOR in Jokes
    Befoor the virus a used ta cough ta hide mi farts Now I fart ta hide mi coughs!
    0 replies | 76 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    3 Days Ago
    Dave Burgess started a thread BLIND in Jokes
    Geezer sez to iz current bun, "Stop wankin son, it,ll mek thi gu blind." Son replies, "Fukkin ell Dad, am o,er ere!"
    0 replies | 79 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    3 Days Ago
    Dave Burgess started a thread GLASGOW in Jokes
    Fukkin ell! The shortages o gerrin so bad in Supermarkets that thiz bin repoorts that people in Glasgow are actually fukkin buyin fruit n veg!
    0 replies | 65 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    4 Days Ago
    Dave Burgess started a thread 2065 in Jokes
    2065: "Grandad, tell uz moor about the 2020 bog roll famine!"
    0 replies | 75 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    4 Days Ago
    Dave Burgess replied to a thread Police in Jokes
    Ever Ready?
    5 replies | 196 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    4 Days Ago
    Dave Burgess started a thread OUT in Jokes
    Went out fer a bimble taday in the beatytash sunshine fer mi bit o exercise. Fukkin ell! Every other fukker wuz out az well! Listen...
    0 replies | 74 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    4 Days Ago
    Dave Burgess replied to a thread Ding Dong in Jokes
    I open it fer the Avon Lady Chris, young bit o tash wi massive tits!
    1 replies | 79 view(s)
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2 Visitor Messages

  1. View Conversation
    Dave. Can you give me a bell on my mob: 07810820763 and I'll phone you back, think I have your num wrong.
    John
  2. Older than I,d like to be,not as fit as I used to be,married for 44 years to Val,my lover and best friend,without her I,d be either locked up or brown bread.Dad,grandad & great grandad,children really are the greatest thing you can posess,keep ya mind young & daft and keep ya body active.After 65 years on this earth and years studying the university of life which included leaving school with f.ck all in the way of qualifications,being sacked aged 17 from an indentured apprenticeship for banjoing the gaffer,6 years in the Parachute Regiment,digging the roads with the paddys,driving heavy plant,roofing contractor,gym owner and finally a postman.After that f.ckin lot I have gained a great insight into life and all the characters that go to make it up,and my conclusion is that some people are put on this earth to make people happy,whil,st others have a burning desire to make people miserable,so in my experience when you come across these twats,the only answer,"one right on the end of the old violin!"
    And finally the motto I live by is summed up in the song which is sung at the very end of that brilliant piss take film.
    "ALWAYS LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE OF LIFE!
Showing Visitor Messages 1 to 2 of 2
About Dave Burgess

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