• Dave Burgess's Avatar
    12 Hours Ago
    Dave Burgess started a thread RECOMMEND in Jokes
    When tha thinks about it, dentists mek their ackers from people wi dodgy gnashers, so why the fukk shud wi use toothpaste that 9 outa 10 o the kunts...
    1 replies | 16 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    1 Day Ago
    Dave Burgess started a thread ROCKET in Jokes
    Bought some o that Rocket Salad the other day. Fukkin went off befoor a cud eight the fukker!
    0 replies | 17 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    2 Days Ago
    Dave Burgess started a thread POPULAR in Jokes
    Accoordin to a vote in the NHS, last Chrimbos most popular Carol wuz, "The Trolley and The IV".
    0 replies | 37 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    3 Days Ago
    Dave Burgess replied to a thread MOSES in Jokes
    We ad one o them owd fashioned wirelesses Bob weer the valves at the back wo like fukkin milk bottles!
    9 replies | 272 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    3 Days Ago
    Dave Burgess started a thread CHARITY in Jokes
    A reckon we oughta start our own charity. Fer just 2 ackers a week we cud all travel the world lookin fer a black life that matters, a generous four...
    1 replies | 64 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    4 Days Ago
    Dave Burgess started a thread PLAN in Jokes
    Mi plan fer taday iz ta gu wi the "Trouble" ta get some new specs. After that, we,ll fukkin see!"
    0 replies | 69 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    5 Days Ago
    Dave Burgess started a thread OWD ISAAC in Jokes
    Owd Isaac a local furniture company owner who only employs four bi two,s wuz asked, "How do you get your employees to be so punctual?" Owd Isaac...
    0 replies | 75 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    6 Days Ago
    Dave Burgess replied to a thread MOSES in Jokes
    Duz tha remember PC 49 Bob?
    9 replies | 272 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    6 Days Ago
    Dave Burgess started a thread STRANGE in Jokes
    "Trouble" sed, "You have,nt listened to a word I said!" Thought ta mesen, "That,s a fukkin strange way ta start a conversation!"
    1 replies | 92 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    1 Week Ago
    Dave Burgess replied to a thread MOSES in Jokes
    Two empty tin cans n a piece o string back then Bob.
    9 replies | 272 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    1 Week Ago
    Dave Burgess started a thread MOSES in Jokes
    When tha thinks about it, all them years agu Moses wuz the first geezer ta download files from cloud onta a fukkin tablet!
    9 replies | 272 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    1 Week Ago
    Dave Burgess started a thread SOO-AP DODGERS in Jokes
    A know tharra gi soo-ap dodgers a lorra stick but one thing ta their credit iz that thi name their first born sprog after the Worlds Greatest boxer!
    1 replies | 118 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    1 Week Ago
    Dave Burgess started a thread TOWD MAN in Jokes
    Well, Melinda Gates copped fer the gaff, berrer towd man copped fer the fukkin windows!
    0 replies | 104 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    1 Week Ago
    Dave Burgess started a thread JOE BAXI in Jokes
    Pissed up young tash dives inta a Joe Baxi, cloths off bollocko n lays down on the seat. Driver whooz a four bi two looks at er thru the mirra n...
    0 replies | 109 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    1 Week Ago
    Dave Burgess replied to a thread OWD ROD in Jokes
    Mi favourite barnet dressin back then ta keep thi Tony Curtis complete wi quiff,DA n square neck wuz Vaseline n water mixed together, set like fukkin...
    8 replies | 362 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    1 Week Ago
    Dave Burgess started a thread CURRENT BUN in Jokes
    Couple just ad a bin lid, eez ayf Irish n Indian, she,s ayf Italian n Splinkish. Big fukk off arguments about wot thi gunna call im, but finally a...
    0 replies | 113 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    1 Week Ago
    Dave Burgess replied to a thread OWD ROD in Jokes
    Lard wuz used az well resultiun in the owd common sayin, "Lard ee-ad!"
    8 replies | 362 view(s)
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2 Visitor Messages

  1. View Conversation
    Dave. Can you give me a bell on my mob: 07810820763 and I'll phone you back, think I have your num wrong.
    John
  2. Older than I,d like to be,not as fit as I used to be,married for 44 years to Val,my lover and best friend,without her I,d be either locked up or brown bread.Dad,grandad & great grandad,children really are the greatest thing you can posess,keep ya mind young & daft and keep ya body active.After 65 years on this earth and years studying the university of life which included leaving school with f.ck all in the way of qualifications,being sacked aged 17 from an indentured apprenticeship for banjoing the gaffer,6 years in the Parachute Regiment,digging the roads with the paddys,driving heavy plant,roofing contractor,gym owner and finally a postman.After that f.ckin lot I have gained a great insight into life and all the characters that go to make it up,and my conclusion is that some people are put on this earth to make people happy,whil,st others have a burning desire to make people miserable,so in my experience when you come across these twats,the only answer,"one right on the end of the old violin!"
    And finally the motto I live by is summed up in the song which is sung at the very end of that brilliant piss take film.
    "ALWAYS LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE OF LIFE!
Showing Visitor Messages 1 to 2 of 2
About Dave Burgess

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