Windy

Remember when we were kids seeing who could piss the highest up the bog wall! Happy days eh?

By the time a get mi knob outa the piss pad av already pissed mesen! 😩 

Wear a condom on it Dave, but don't let it fill up mate could be disastrous ! 😀 

Be oreight fer mekkin piss bombs tho Bob! 😆 

There is a few buggers I'd like to hoy one at these days Dave. 🤣 🤣 🤣 

In the late 50s early 60s along wi the slum clearance, Parkhill Flats wo built near the city centre, looked like fukkin Alctraz! Residents used ta lob allsoorts o,er the balconies that landed on unsuspecting people below, once a gogglebox nearly hit a geezer. Called ta see a mate who lived theer n just missed being twatted wi a bag o shite splatterin skid marks all o,er mi clobber! 😲 

When I went to Jamaica attached to B Coy my task was renovating the local loony bin and one day while up a ladder fixing the ventilation grills at floor level of the ward on stilts a very old woman with dementia kept moaning about the noise of my drill and telling me to stop. Suddenly I realised her voice was coming from above my head and looked up to see she had shat on a piece of cardboard and was tipping it out of the window while saying "I told you to stop young man!" I leapt sideways off the ladder nearly breaking my legs in the side right I performed and her shit splattered down the rungs where I'd been! Headed straight home with a message to the Matron to get the ladder washed and the old girl moved before I'd commence working again! 😜 

🤣 🤣 🤣 just what you needed, a shit pie without the crust!

Did a roofin job on a tashes nuthouse just outside Chesterfield, wimmin wailin all day n close to the kitchens that stunk o boiled cabbage, put thi off thi scoff. Left mi flask top at oo-am so knocked at the kitchen door ta borra a cup n this young tash answered screamin while owdin a big fukk off knife. Member o staff grabbed er n dragged er away screamin n kickin then proceeded ta bollock mi n tell mi never ta come anyweer near agee-an! Thought, "Fukk it n drove inta town ta buy a big bottle o pop! 🙄 

I don't know how anybody could want that job, It's a thankless task! When I was in the MOD Plod, their was a bloke who used to work in one, said it was horrendous , He said one old boy used to  always in the Dining hall stand in the middle of the floor and piss himself on purpose then dance in it!

They had a big one near Dorchester when I was kid and a few people on Portland worked there. They always said if you worked there for too long you ended up as an inmate yourself. There were a fair few from the island that were in there as there were only 4 original families from Portland, Stone, Comben, Pearse and White, and they rarely married outside their cousins, and incest was rife, so the Stones especially were mostly raving and were well represented in Herrisons loony bin!

One o the gyms a ran in Sheffield one o the members worked at the owd Middlewood Hospital loony bin n befooor eee came inta train, this big fukker who looked like Lurch ad arrived, politely paid fer a workout n entered. Loony bin worker Mark came in, saw Lurch, fukkin freaked out n sed, "Wot the fukks eee duin eee shunt be out, eeez dangerous!" Then sed that Lurch ad wrecked 3 cells n shud bi in a straight jacket, so a sed "Thaa berra tell im then, cos aam fukkin not!" Loony bin worker Mark fukked off out at the double! Lurch did iz workout, no trouble at all, came n ad a coffee n banter wi the lads n quietly went on iz way! 🤗 

Tight arses relaxed then ?😂

Sigh o relief wuz like gale foorce guin thru town! 😆 

It's true though Dave, if you try talking down to people, you can expect a bad reaction. Always treat people the way you would like to be treated and you don't go far wrong mate. Just one of life's little learning skills, which some twats never learn!