• Dave Burgess's Avatar
    26 Minutes Ago
    Dave Burgess started a thread TATTOO in Jokes
    drinking1Laffed mi bollox off after reading a sign in a local tattooists winda which read: "Please note, you must be 18 years or over and show your...
    0 replies | 1 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    16 Hours Ago
    Dave Burgess replied to a thread BLOOD TEST in Jokes
    "It,s the Milky Bar Kid!":stupid:
    5 replies | 99 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    16 Hours Ago
    Dave Burgess started a thread DERBY in Jokes
    drinking1Just bin listenin ta the Leicester Derby on the wireless: India V Pakistan!:stupid:
    0 replies | 13 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    23 Hours Ago
    Dave Burgess started a thread KETCHUP in Jokes
    drinking1Can,t fukkin win me! "Trouble" asked mi ta gu tat shop n befoor a fukked off she sed, "Don,t forget to put Ketchup on the list!" ...
    0 replies | 15 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    1 Day Ago
    Dave Burgess replied to a thread BLOOD TEST in Jokes
    Don,t bi surprised Tone, Boris is a fukkin baffoon n liable ta drop a bollock in the run in, so wetch this space!:shocked2:
    5 replies | 99 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    1 Day Ago
    Dave Burgess started a thread CRYING in Jokes
    drinking1One o the lads in the battlecruiser sed, "I allus remember the first time I ad the legover, it was so awkward and clumsy n I wuz crying all...
    0 replies | 24 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    1 Day Ago
    Say it az it iz n fukk em! 3 meals a day n a pit fer the neet worse that can appen!:very_drunk:
    4 replies | 107 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    1 Day Ago
    Dave Burgess started a thread NIGERIAN in Jokes
    drinking1A Nigerian geezer az bin found fried bread in iz gaff wi 270 million stashed in a cupboard. Eez bin tryin ta give it away fer 15...
    1 replies | 32 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    2 Days Ago
    Dave Burgess replied to a thread ASLEEP in Jokes
    Like a mate o mine who used ta work in a carpet shop n teld mi, "Thad bi surprised just ow many wimmin wud come in n ask, "Excuse me, can I get felt...
    6 replies | 227 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    2 Days Ago
    Dave Burgess started a thread BLOOD TEST in Jokes
    :stupid: Fukkin ell! Thiz moor geezers bailin out from the Tory Leadership comp than blue lagoons from a paternity blood test!:stupid:
    5 replies | 99 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    2 Days Ago
    Dave Burgess replied to a thread ASLEEP in Jokes
    :drunk:
    6 replies | 227 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    2 Days Ago
    Dave Burgess started a thread IQBAL in Jokes
    drinking1Called inta Iqbals fer some fags n lucky bastard teld mi eeed won 3 million on the lottery, so eee shared it wi the rest o the family. ...
    0 replies | 43 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    3 Days Ago
    Dave Burgess started a thread ASLEEP in Jokes
    drinking1Mate sed, "I can never sneak in the gaff after bein out on the lash wiout the missis wakin up n bollockin mi, dunt marra ow quiet I am." ...
    6 replies | 227 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    4 Days Ago
    Dave Burgess started a thread STELLA in Jokes
    drinking1After a big fukk off row the "Trouble" az banned mi from guin on Stella. Thank fukk she dunt know about Katie!:stupid:
    0 replies | 54 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    4 Days Ago
    Dave Burgess started a thread ANTI DEPRESSANTS in Jokes
    drinking1To the bastard who arf inched me anti depressants, I ope yer fukkin happy now!:stupid:
    0 replies | 69 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    5 Days Ago
    Dave Burgess started a thread SUMMER in Jokes
    drinking1Summer? Fukkin ell it,s June, cowd n pissing it down! Wuz in the battlecruiser last neet tekkin a piss in the piss corner n a...
    1 replies | 93 view(s)
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2 Visitor Messages

  1. View Conversation
    Dave. Can you give me a bell on my mob: 07810820763 and I'll phone you back, think I have your num wrong.
    John
  2. Older than I,d like to be,not as fit as I used to be,married for 44 years to Val,my lover and best friend,without her I,d be either locked up or brown bread.Dad,grandad & great grandad,children really are the greatest thing you can posess,keep ya mind young & daft and keep ya body active.After 65 years on this earth and years studying the university of life which included leaving school with f.ck all in the way of qualifications,being sacked aged 17 from an indentured apprenticeship for banjoing the gaffer,6 years in the Parachute Regiment,digging the roads with the paddys,driving heavy plant,roofing contractor,gym owner and finally a postman.After that f.ckin lot I have gained a great insight into life and all the characters that go to make it up,and my conclusion is that some people are put on this earth to make people happy,whil,st others have a burning desire to make people miserable,so in my experience when you come across these twats,the only answer,"one right on the end of the old violin!"
    And finally the motto I live by is summed up in the song which is sung at the very end of that brilliant piss take film.
    "ALWAYS LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE OF LIFE!
Showing Visitor Messages 1 to 2 of 2
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