BOXING

[Dave Burgess]

Mate o mine iz tryin ta mek iz gay current bun moor masculine by fukkin off iz piana lessons n mekkin im tek up boxing. Eee sed "Apart from meal times a mek im wear iz fukkin boxin gloves!"

[Dave Burgess]

Minutes silence in Liverpool yesterday to mark the 35th anniversary of the tragedy at pig land. Only lasted 7 minutes befoor a fukkin car alarm went off!

[Dave Burgess]

Thank God we were Paras once and Young John!

[Dave Burgess]

Hi John, just keep fighting and keep your chin up. Val sends her very Best Wishes to you all and wishes you the Best, it,s a pain in the srse this getting old business, I,ve now got cataracts, too much sun over the years I reckon so now paying the price...

[Dave Burgess]

A sed to a mate o mine, "Waint tha bi embarassed thi missis avin ta ride on a mobility scooter?"
"Will a fukk!" eee replied, "Am just gunna stick a pole on the back n say that sheez nicked a fukkin dodgem car!"

[Dave Burgess]

More people wo killed on the Alec Baldwin flick set than the fukkin Iranian attack on Israel last neet!

Hi Chris, glad all is ok, good of your daughter to invite you to live in the caravan, is it warm enough in winter? If so it will be sound, better if rent free! You,d be able to sell your gaff and have a few bob in your back pocket. I can,t get into the...

[Dave Burgess]

"Trouble" asked if a cud clear the kitchen table. A might be an owd twat but wi a run up a fukkin manages it!

[Dave Burgess]

Cheers Don, will give you a bell if I can arf inch the "Troubles" dog n bone while she,s dossin!

[Dave Burgess]

Next door neighbours current bun came ome from skoyle n sed, "Mum, av failed mi biology test", "I,m your fukkin Dad, you silly little twat!" came the reply!

[Dave Burgess]

Great to hear from you John and sorry to hear of the trials and tribulations health wise you are going through, it must be a big worry for Shirley and the family, I send my best wishes to them all.
I,m still posting this on the old site cos as...

[Dave Burgess]

I,m finding it a bastard to get on the new site Bob. Like knitting fog, so still using the old site.

Hi Chris, hope is all OK at yout end. The new site is a bastard to get on, like knitting fukkin fukkin fog. So fukk it am stayin on this one!

[Dave Burgess]

The NHS now av a pill that can cure 170,000 wimmin of migraines. Tha can bet thi bollox that thill find some other fukkin excuse!

[Dave Burgess]

Wuz at a brill party at the weekend wi the "Trouble" n thid purra reight spread on n after four times back n forrads ta top up mi bowl wi trifle n ice cree-am, "Trouble" asked,"Don,t you feel shown up eating like a pig?"...

[Dave Burgess]

32 countrys have citizens with much longer lifespans than the UK.
This is due to Obesity, Smoking and supporting Sheffield United FC

[Dave Burgess]

Meks thi wonder dunnit? Wot Cambridge University Netball team Team abbreviate their name to?

[Dave Burgess]

Tried mi new password but got fukked off, so put old one in n bingo but aint sure which fukkin site am on?

[Dave Burgess]

Mate asked, "Did tha see Lulu on the gogglebox last neet? 75 and she still looks fukkable". A replied, "She reckons er secret iz never ta speak befoor 12pm". "Fukkin ell!" eee sed, "No wonder me Missis iz such an ugly...

[Dave Burgess]

Spot the white man Bob!