• Dave Burgess's Avatar
    12 Hours Ago
    Dave Burgess replied to a thread Awkward... in Pictures
    Once wetched a Color Climax flick titled "Nympho Nuns" so applied fer an application form at the local Convent but Mother Superior teld mi ta "Go...
    10 replies | 100 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    12 Hours Ago
    Kunts must bi Farah Fawcett fans!:stupid:
    2 replies | 20 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    12 Hours Ago
    Dave Burgess replied to a thread Clever Chinks.... in Pictures
    Beware of the yeller Peril!:offended:
    1 replies | 14 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    12 Hours Ago
    Dave Burgess replied to a thread STATE in Jokes
    Worlds gone fukkin mad Tone!
    2 replies | 17 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    12 Hours Ago
    Dave Burgess started a thread PSYCHIC in Jokes
    drinking1Mate went ta see a Psychic who teld im that she,d bin in touch wi iz Mother In Law. "Thank fukk fer that!" eee sed, That means...
    0 replies | 6 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    20 Hours Ago
    Duz tha think wiv med progress over the centuries Tone? Tek the quality o build from yesteryear compared ta the shite bein purrup these days. Even in...
    10 replies | 395 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    20 Hours Ago
    Dave Burgess replied to a thread Awkward... in Pictures
    Or a bunch o fukkin Magpies Don!:stupid:
    10 replies | 100 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    20 Hours Ago
    Dave Burgess started a thread STATE in Jokes
    drinking1This country iz in such a fukkin state these days that tha dunt know wether 5 a day means the pieces o fruit or veg thy eights or the number...
    2 replies | 17 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    1 Day Ago
    Dave Burgess started a thread SEX in Jokes
    drinking1"Dad! I ad sex fer the first time last night!" "Wow son! Come n sit down n tell mi all about it." "I can,t Dad, me...
    1 replies | 40 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    1 Day Ago
    Just shows thee Tone, just ow much o this brilliant stuff is still lying around, left under the undergrowth, unloved but deffo in great demand from...
    10 replies | 395 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    1 Day Ago
    :stupid:Grandad Steve from the bovver boys skinee-ad era.
    8 replies | 610 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    1 Day Ago
    Dave Burgess replied to a thread Awkward... in Pictures
    One sez to er mate, "Not as big as the Abbots is it Elsie?":stupid:
    10 replies | 100 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    1 Day Ago
    Dave Burgess started a thread GIFT in Jokes
    drinking1Cute tash in the battlecruiser teld mi last neet, "You really are Gods gift to women. You,re a kunt!":stupid:
    0 replies | 21 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    2 Days Ago
    Fukkin ell Steve! I feel owd, I wuz expectin "Love iz Like A Violin" by Ken Dodd!:stupid:
    8 replies | 610 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    2 Days Ago
    Dave Burgess started a thread DIRTY in Jokes
    :stupid: If a geezer talks dirty to a tash it,s sexual harrassment. Burrif a tash talks dirty to a geezer it,s a fiver a fukkin...
    0 replies | 34 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    3 Days Ago
    Once bimblin around wi mi hurdy gurdy in woodland Tone under all the undergrowth I came across the remains of a Jacobean hall that wuz demolished in...
    10 replies | 395 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    3 Days Ago
    Dave Burgess started a thread THINKING in Jokes
    drinking1Wuz just thinkin ta mesen, the best part of a blow job iz the ten minutes o peace n quiet!:stupid:
    0 replies | 40 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    3 Days Ago
    Dave Burgess started a thread HARD in Jokes
    drinking1Mate sed, "I took it fukkin hard when me first Missis kippered in a car accident. I fukkin luvved that Toyota!":stupid:
    0 replies | 60 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    4 Days Ago
    Dave Burgess started a thread BROKEN in Jokes
    drinking1Mate sed iz missis left a note on the fridge that sed, "It,s no good, it,s broken, I,m off to my mothers!" Eee sed, "I opened the...
    0 replies | 49 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    4 Days Ago
    Dave Burgess started a thread CONTRACTIONS in Jokes
    drinking1Owd Paddy shouts down the dog n boo-an ta the quack, "Sure mi woyf iz pregnant n er contracshions iz two minutes apart!" Quack...
    0 replies | 63 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    5 Days Ago
    Dave Burgess started a thread VISIT in Jokes
    drinking1Mate sed eee likes ta act out the places eee visits. In Poole eee went fer a swim. In Bath eee ad a bath. ...
    0 replies | 59 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    5 Days Ago
    Dave Burgess started a thread TURTLES in Jokes
    drinking1Turtles can breath thru their ring piece, but humans aint evolved ta that stage yet but politicians av deffo learned ta talk thru the...
    1 replies | 80 view(s)
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2 Visitor Messages

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    Dave. Can you give me a bell on my mob: 07810820763 and I'll phone you back, think I have your num wrong.
    John
  2. Older than I,d like to be,not as fit as I used to be,married for 44 years to Val,my lover and best friend,without her I,d be either locked up or brown bread.Dad,grandad & great grandad,children really are the greatest thing you can posess,keep ya mind young & daft and keep ya body active.After 65 years on this earth and years studying the university of life which included leaving school with f.ck all in the way of qualifications,being sacked aged 17 from an indentured apprenticeship for banjoing the gaffer,6 years in the Parachute Regiment,digging the roads with the paddys,driving heavy plant,roofing contractor,gym owner and finally a postman.After that f.ckin lot I have gained a great insight into life and all the characters that go to make it up,and my conclusion is that some people are put on this earth to make people happy,whil,st others have a burning desire to make people miserable,so in my experience when you come across these twats,the only answer,"one right on the end of the old violin!"
    And finally the motto I live by is summed up in the song which is sung at the very end of that brilliant piss take film.
    "ALWAYS LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE OF LIFE!
Showing Visitor Messages 1 to 2 of 2
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