• Dave Burgess's Avatar
    4 Hours Ago
    Dave Burgess started a thread WALK in Jokes
    drinking1Mate sed, "It,s a 4 minute walk from me gaff ta the battlecruiser, n it,s a 45 minute walk from the battlecruiser ta mi gaff. The...
    0 replies | 6 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    21 Hours Ago
    Dave Burgess started a thread DAWES in Jokes
    drinking1Mate just back from iz jollies sed, "I wuz on the beach catchin some rays when this young tash turned ta mi n asked, "Would you mind putting...
    0 replies | 13 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    1 Day Ago
    Dave Burgess started a thread LAST in Jokes
    drinking1When tha thinks about it, geezers allus av the last fukkin word in an argument wi their Missis, "Sorry!":stupid::stupid:
    0 replies | 12 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    1 Day Ago
    About fukkin time these snowflake kunts gorra twattin! As usual, normal everyday geezers tryin ta get ta collar ta earn a crust bein targeted when...
    3 replies | 34 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    1 Day Ago
    Dave Burgess started a thread JESUS in Jokes
    drinking1When Jesus sed, "Let the first be last, and the last be first." It musta bin fukkin murder in the bettin shops in Jerusalem two...
    1 replies | 15 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    2 Days Ago
    Dave Burgess started a thread TRAINERS in Jokes
    drinking1Mate sed, "I,ll never buy a pair o trainers med by poor bin lids in Indonisia workin all fukkin week just fer a bowl o rice." I...
    0 replies | 12 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    2 Days Ago
    Dave Burgess replied to a thread Widdle Wabbits in Jokes
    :encouragement:
    1 replies | 19 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    2 Days Ago
    Dave Burgess replied to a thread Bottle of Coke in Jokes
    "I,ll blow thi fukkin ee-ad off!" she sed.:stupid:
    1 replies | 20 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    2 Days Ago
    Dave Burgess replied to a thread Garbage Truck in Jokes
    :encouragement:
    2 replies | 26 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    2 Days Ago
    Dave Burgess started a thread CHESS in Jokes
    drinking1Went inta a shop today n thi wo sellin the new English edition o Chess. Thiz no King, the Queen duz fukk all n all the Castles o...
    0 replies | 11 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    3 Days Ago
    Dave Burgess started a thread SMACK in Jokes
    drinking1Did thy ere about the new Scottish Law that forbids parents givin their bin lids a little smack? So it,s Cannabis fer you little...
    0 replies | 12 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    3 Days Ago
    Dave Burgess started a thread SNAKE in Jokes
    drinking1Mate teld mi eee wuz out in the cuds wi iz missis last summer when she got bit by a snake so eee gid emergency services a bell. ...
    0 replies | 16 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    4 Days Ago
    Dave Burgess started a thread OUTSIDE in Jokes
    drinking1One o the lads sed, "I stepped thru the brothel doors wi great trepidation. First time av seen the outside world fer a fukkin...
    0 replies | 14 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    4 Days Ago
    Dave Burgess started a thread NOTHING in Jokes
    drinking1Mate sed, "I hate them kunts who say, "Nothing iz impossible by duin sweet fukk all all day!":stupid:
    0 replies | 15 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    5 Days Ago
    Dave Burgess started a thread SOBER in Jokes
    drinking1Mate sed, "Only ayf way thru "Sober October" n am already reapin the benefits. A wok up this mornin n dint av ta think, "Wot did...
    0 replies | 15 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    5 Days Ago
    Dave Burgess replied to a thread Matt Mulligan in The Final RV
    R.I.P. Matt.
    11 replies | 83 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    5 Days Ago
    Dave Burgess started a thread FIRST in Jokes
    drinking1Owd Iqbal teld mi that iz 16 year owd current bun came oo-am n teld im that eeed just ad sex fer the first time. Iqbal sed, "Well...
    0 replies | 16 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    6 Days Ago
    Dave Burgess replied to a thread 1 Para jumping.... in Pictures
    Same ere Chris burra got conned at the fukkin labour exchange, only other options wo bus conductor or bin man dint fancy wearin them fukkin...
    19 replies | 148 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    6 Days Ago
    Dave Burgess started a thread INCREASING in Jokes
    drinking1Fukkin ell! if the number o Muslims keeps increasing at this fukkin rate, the British Isles iz gunna av ta bi renamed the fukkin Paedoph...
    0 replies | 13 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    6 Days Ago
    Dave Burgess replied to a thread 1 Para jumping.... in Pictures
    and that,s just the wimmin!:stupid:
    19 replies | 148 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    6 Days Ago
    Dave Burgess started a thread BIRTHDAY in Jokes
    drinking1One o the lads sed, "I really pushed the boat out on the missises Birthday, we a bit o luck she shud bi in the middle o the fukkin North Sea...
    0 replies | 13 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    1 Week Ago
    Dave Burgess replied to a thread Lazy Twat in Poetry
    Never that fukkin lucky, I musta ad "OCs Orders!" tattooed on mi fukkin forree-ad!:boxing:
    10 replies | 73 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    1 Week Ago
    Dave Burgess replied to a thread 1 Para jumping.... in Pictures
    Blackpool Mecca, appy days o spins n backdrops. "Keep The Faith!":very_drunk:
    19 replies | 148 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    1 Week Ago
    Dave Burgess started a thread DONATIONS in Jokes
    drinking1When tha thinks about it them appeals on the gogglebox askin poor geezers from a rich country ta send donations ta a poor country that guz...
    1 replies | 18 view(s)
  • Dave Burgess's Avatar
    1 Week Ago
    Dave Burgess replied to a thread Lazy Twat in Poetry
    Fukkin murder tryin ta keep em appy Bob!
    10 replies | 73 view(s)
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2 Visitor Messages

  1. View Conversation
    Dave. Can you give me a bell on my mob: 07810820763 and I'll phone you back, think I have your num wrong.
    John
  2. Older than I,d like to be,not as fit as I used to be,married for 44 years to Val,my lover and best friend,without her I,d be either locked up or brown bread.Dad,grandad & great grandad,children really are the greatest thing you can posess,keep ya mind young & daft and keep ya body active.After 65 years on this earth and years studying the university of life which included leaving school with f.ck all in the way of qualifications,being sacked aged 17 from an indentured apprenticeship for banjoing the gaffer,6 years in the Parachute Regiment,digging the roads with the paddys,driving heavy plant,roofing contractor,gym owner and finally a postman.After that f.ckin lot I have gained a great insight into life and all the characters that go to make it up,and my conclusion is that some people are put on this earth to make people happy,whil,st others have a burning desire to make people miserable,so in my experience when you come across these twats,the only answer,"one right on the end of the old violin!"
    And finally the motto I live by is summed up in the song which is sung at the very end of that brilliant piss take film.
    "ALWAYS LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE OF LIFE!
Showing Visitor Messages 1 to 2 of 2
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19th October 2019


18th October 2019


17th October 2019



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